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As We Are

by Pam Shaffer

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1.
Henry 02:55
Henry Oh Henry Henry Oh Henry Why don't you come to Louveciennes? Henry Oh Henry Why don't you come to Louveciennes? I'm enchanted by your writing and I've fallen in love With the streets of your Paris and all the cafes you speak of Henry Oh Henry Henry Oh Henry Why don't you come to Louveciennes? Henry Oh Henry Henry Oh Henry Why don't you come to Louveciennes? I've made all of your favorite foods and you'll say it's not real But I did it just for you so you'll stay by my side Henry Oh Henry Henry Oh Henry Why don't you come to Louveciennes? Henry Oh Henry Henry Oh Henry Why don't you come to Louveciennes? We could sit by the fire and read from those diaries that I wrote as a child so long ago drifting at sea
2.
June 04:29
Your bracelets weigh heavily on my wrist They jangle and they pull On my delicate hands like you pull on my heart with your Tangled words your dancers legs Kick through my thoughts battering out all my sense of Doubt of the long I feel when you leave That careless hole I see on your sleeve June June June You're like a heady perfume June June June I'm drowning in you June June June you escape to soon June June June my sweet June That haunting kiss you left on my lips still lingers still tingles still taunts me so Our fingers entwined on the long cab ride home Daring to twist and turn on each other my love of the man you call your own and how you wanted him to make you the hero Though you run away sail across the sea from me June June June You're like a heady perfume June June June I'm drowning in you June June June you escape to soon June June June my sweet June
3.
Artaud 03:27
Seeing you writhe in pain in the large lecture hall With nervous laughing bouncing all around You kissed all the ladies hands knowing they did not comprehend How duality torments you Through the opiate haze I came dressed for war All crimson pewter fire Still you offered me a monk's promise Devoid of pain and pyre Devoid of secrets Raving like a lunatic as calm as the night Walking by the river with the moon in your eyes You're nothing to fear No threat to me Yet you fancied me a temptress then Oh which am I you can't decide An angel or a liar I came dressed for war All crimson pewter fire Still you offered me a monk's promise Devoid of pain and pyre Devoid of secrets We're nothing but a collection of words Strewn across the pages Waiting for time to erase us Efface us in it's wake
4.
Otto Rank 03:33
Beneath the veneer of an analyzed man lies a tired boy sleeping dreaming of freedom dotted with freckles speckled by dirt in his overalls dreaming... Escape from this world In your brown eyes I can play, I can dream In your brown eyes I can come home again I can be whole again I can come home again to you my love Animus cradled in anima's hands the juice of creation defeated neurosis the battle was waged Paris cross Atlantic Now we're here in our dollhouse Our play set New York In your brown eyes I can play, I can dream In your brown eyes I can come home again I can be whole again I can come home again to you my love You're the Huck to my Puck in our deep-seated office The Huck to my Puck in my red Russian dress When you weep in my absence When we caress In your brown eyes I can play, I can dream In your brown eyes I can come home again I can be whole again I can come home again to you my love
5.
Hugo 02:36
Light and darkness side by side I felt like a child bride Seeing you glow with pride I knew there was much to hide from you Hugh You, Hugh Don't think I forgot about you Astrologer, banker, husband too Don't think I'd neglect you My sweet simple darling Hugh Oh you, Hugh Writing this diary while you sleep Your innocence makes me weep My love for you runs so deep Covering secrets that I keep from you Hugh You, Hugh Because of you I have this home Because of you I can be free Because of you I'm shattered and torn Because of you I scream silently Don't think I forgot about you Astrologer, banker, husband too Don't think I'd neglect you My sweet simple darling Hugh Oh you, Hugh
6.
Gonzalo 03:07
Your dark hair combed back Your coal eyes burning You complete the image I hold in the mirror The promises made In untouchable darkness Each simple touch an act of worship Each kiss transports me to another realm For three men I've worn this dress But only you comprehend You speak to me the language of my blood The ancient past comes boiling through my veins Your jealousy fills me with duplicitous devotion The rage you feel intoxicates me deeply Your pudeur Your modesty Enlighten elate me guiding me To a place of passivity Tossing aside pagan robes Reclaim the innocence I lost Long ago You speak to me the language of my blood The ancient past comes boiling through my veins You pace like a lion 'round the edge of my dreams Inflamed by caresses That possess us both You control me completely Penetrate the core of my soul You speak to me the language of my blood The ancient past comes boiling through my veins
7.
Nanankepichu 02:51
Black tar might crumble on your feeble roof Lights may sway and burn themselves out Nothing shines brighter than this tiny houseboat Magical space the keeps me afloat Stepping of earth and into the water Nanankepichu my secret Inca garden Nanankepichu the jewel of the sea Big wooden beams belie the strength Of this hiding place palace for our dreams With curtains draped and alcoves made We pass through time in subterranean ways Rocked by the current of distant waves Byzantie lamp sways above my head Nanankepichu my secret Inca garden Nanankepichu the jewel of the sea Home that is not a home on the banks of the river Seine Rescuing me again and again
8.
Father 02:58
I came to your room a woman enflamed To hide the child still calling your name Embark on this journey break all the taboos Forsake all my sanity Just to lie with you My papa, mon pere How I wept for you My prayers went unanwered My love lost unseen Le roi de soleil My double my twin Nowhere to stop Nowhere to begin Unholy affairs of body and mind The glass has been shattered Step on through to the other side My papa, mon pere How I wept for you My prayers went unanwered My love lost unseen Love that is poisoned cruel unreality Je n'ais plus de dieu You lost God in me My papa, mon pere How I wept for you My prayers went unanwered My love lost unseen
9.
Anais 03:43
Oh my loves you think that you know me The reflection, the gazes, the portrait that you see Are a fragment, are a shadow, are a mere facet of me The wholeness that you seek simply cannot be There are far too many stories for just one reality I'm a steel-winged-hummingbird Strength hides in my beauty I'm the darkness and the light Dance in duality Piscean attunement adrift on the lunar sea Consumed by my desires and emotionality Siana Linotte and Imagy Only the diary holds these parts of me Humble writer, wife, lover to be All these embers burning freely I'm a steel-winged-hummingbird Strength hides in my beauty I'm the darkness and the light Dance in duality All the lies that I create The stories that I weave Are meant to preserve our love Not knowing you're deceived I'm a steel-winged-hummingbird Strength hides in my beauty I'm the darkness and the light Dance in duality
10.
Diary 03:31
In my dream I had a choice Beautiful visions, enchanting music I cast them aside for I chose you The art of putting pen to paper Rooted to a solid oak desk Ghost of a muse by my side Dive beneath the surface of thought to swim past the conscious shore come back with treasures from the deep only to dive once more Opium my sweetness The keeper of all lies From you I cannot hide the depth I hold inside My constant companion my only true friend you hold the elusive map the guide for my soul Navigate the heart integrate the mind leave the body intact so the mystery remains Only you have seen what lies behind my placid eyes Keep the dream alive long after I die Opium my sweetness The keeper of all lies From you I cannot hide the depth I hold inside

about

This is an album based on the diaries of Anais Nin from the 1930's. I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

Thank you to everyone who saw this dream become a reality. To Damian, for manning the boards and steering this ship even when the winds blew in opposite directions. To the amazing musicians Nick Mancini, Kaveh Rastegar, Paul Cartwright, Hiro Gado, Jonah David, Chris Price and Evan Vidar for taking my words and transforming them into sonic textures. To my friends, who all contributed to this album in the form of moral support or in some cases, stunning photography, hours of pin-curling and a pinch of graphic design. To my family, who put up with me being just a little bit odd all the time. To my Kickstarter supporters, without whose support this album would not have been possible and to whom I am forever grateful. Lastly, to Anais Nin, who wrote the words that inspired this album and who continues to inspire me every day.

credits

released September 24, 2010

All songs written by Pam Shaffer
Performed by:
Pam Shaffer - piano, vocals, wurlitzer, harmonium, marxophone, autoharp, organ, omnichord
Damian Anthony - Programming/Drums
Nick Mancini - Vibraphones
Chris Price - Guitar, Juno
Evan Vidar - Guitar
Kaveh Rastegar - Bass
Jonah David - Drums
Paul Cartwright - Violin
Hiro Gado - Violin
Produced by Damian Anthony and Pam Shaffer
Engineered by Damian Anthony
Recorded at Pam Shaffer's home, Damian and Shawn's Cave Studios, 3:20 Studio and Eagle Rock Studios
Mixed by David Peters
Mastered by Gil Tamazyan at Capsule Labs
Photography by Matt Sayles

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Pam Shaffer Los Angeles

Pam is a singer of lullabies sprung from a sunken pirate ship, a pixie with a haunting voice, nimble fingers, and a killer shoe collection.

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